After New Year’s, I realized it was time to look for new relationships and move forward. I registered on one of the dating sites—I don’t even remember which one. That’s how I met Anya, a cheerful and interesting girl. These relationships were very different from what I had with Masha. They seemed a bit strange to me because I didn’t feel the same deep connection with Anya as I did with Masha. Sometimes I even thought that Anya was too naive for me. Nevertheless, we continued talking and soon started dating.
One pleasant surprise was that Anya also turned out to be a fan of my favorite artist—St1m. This brought us even closer, and thanks to her, we got to attend the presentation of his album “October.” There I was able to get a disc signed personally by St1m, which was a truly special moment for me. Despite the nice moments, my relationship with Anya still felt a bit superficial—something kept me from feeling real closeness with her. But even with these inner doubts, I tried to build a relationship while also focusing on my career.
One day, I think it was either Valentine’s Day or February 23—some holiday—Anya gave me a gift that deeply influenced my worldview: Paulo Coelho’s book “The Alchemist.” Immersing myself in its pages, I read it in one go and saw in it a reflection of my own soul. It was truly magical.
Inspired, I began to explore other works by Coelho. I was especially struck by “Manual of the Warrior of Light,” full of deep parables and wise advice. It became a true guide for me, a book of wise counsel that I turned to when searching for answers to life’s questions. I realized that in life you often encounter recurring difficulties that seem to test your strength and remind you of lessons not yet learned. Sometimes it felt like I was standing still, but my heart told me: this is an opportunity to understand what previously eluded me.
This book taught me that a true warrior does not follow conventional rules and does not spend days trying to meet others’ expectations. He follows his own path, listens to his inner voice, and pursues his destiny. These thoughts resonated deeply within me and helped me rethink many aspects of my life.
Over time, I collected all the Coelho books I could find and read them eagerly, delving deeper into his philosophy and wisdom.
There were also significant changes at work. After the company went through a shakeup and I managed to handle the consequences of sabotage by Alexander K., my role at the company changed considerably. Previously, all assignments from Olga Borisovna, our general director, came through my boss, but after the crisis, she started communicating with me directly, discussing important matters in person. This was a significant step forward in my career, and I felt I had become a trusted person in her eyes.
Gradually, our interaction strengthened. Olga Borisovna began entrusting me with increasingly responsible tasks, and a few months later, in spring, something happened that was a real surprise for me. During one of our work discussions, I happened to mention that I had experience working as a toastmaster at the birthday party of my mom’s friend Masha. It was an improvised celebration, but I managed to organize a fun program, and the event was a big success.
This story interested Olga Borisovna. At that time, she was planning to celebrate her anniversary on a riverboat and suggested I try myself again as a toastmaster. The idea seemed curious, and the support from the whole female staff of the office convinced me to agree. It was a new challenge for me, and I saw it as an interesting experience.
The celebration turned out bright and memorable. I was given a special costume, and my assistants wore Russian folk outfits. The whole day was spent on the riverboat, and I was happy to entertain the guests, feeling that I was managing to create an atmosphere of joy and fun. This event became one of the most vivid moments of 2010, leaving warm memories of my experience as a toastmaster at such an important event.
Later, toward the end of May, I realized my relationship with Anya was coming to an end. One day, when the three of us—Anya, Lesha, and I—were out for a walk, Anya said, “Igor and I are such a perfect match.” This phrase sounded unpleasant to me, and I began to think. Some time later, I called her and said we needed to break up. Anya replied, “Well, good job, right before exams.” She was preparing for her university exams at that time.
So we broke up, but kept in touch. We met a few more times in the following years, although our relationship was never rekindled.
A few days after our breakup, I started focusing on other things I’d been putting off for a long time. By that time, I had already saved up enough money to consider renovating my kitchen. In the summer of 2010, I finally began the renovation, since the work in the main room was already finished. Nikolai K. helped me find a contractor among his acquaintances, but, to be honest, I was disappointed. The foreman took most of the money for himself, and the workers, who got a smaller share, worked accordingly. Still, the kitchen was remodeled, and the apartment became much cozier. Despite being dissatisfied with the process, I managed to achieve a positive result.
On Saturday, July 2, 2010, Lesha and I were walking in Tsaritsyno Park, strolling leisurely along the alleys and talking about everything—from studies and work to thoughts about the future. The day was sunny, the sky clear, and the mood encouraged experimentation. At some point, I suggested we try to meet some girls. Lesha agreed with a smile and told me to go for it while he would support me morally.
We noticed two attractive girls slowly walking nearby, and my heart began to beat faster. The first few times I hesitated and even felt a little scared to approach, but with each new encounter with them, my determination grew. Finally, the third time our eyes met by chance, I turned firmly to Lesha and said, “That’s it, I’m going.” He didn’t stop me and just encouraged me with a look.
Approaching the girls, I smiled and said, “Hello.” The girls looked at each other in surprise and replied at the same time, “Goodbye.” I didn’t get flustered and immediately added with a smile, “It’s a wonderful day—let’s get acquainted! My name is Igor. And you?” After a moment’s silence, one of them, confident and acting like a glamorous superstar with dark hair and bright makeup, said her name was Anastasia. The other, more modest and fair-haired, quietly introduced herself as Nyura. I kept improvising and jokingly pointed to Lesha: “Nice to meet you. This is my friend Ivanushka the Fool.” We all laughed, and the tension disappeared. The four of us continued walking in the park, chatting and joking.
Soon it turned out that Nyura’s real name was Anya, and I noticed that she seemed to be single. The day flew by as we walked and talked, and at the end of the walk, we exchanged contacts. That’s how my relationship with Anya K. began.
At that time, Anya K. was about to enter the eleventh grade and was still in school. She was passionate about theater and lived for it: she attended a theater studio, rehearsed, and performed in plays. Her VKontakte page was filled with photos from different productions where she played bright roles. There I noticed she had recently posted the song “Everything Will Be Fine” by Mitya Fomin. I liked this track too, and soon it became associated with Anya and our acquaintance. I liked her genuine enthusiasm for art, but there was a tension in our personal relationship. Anya was shy and reserved in communicating with me, and I didn’t know how to build a dialogue and find common ground. Our conversations often came down to monosyllabic phrases, which made me feel insecure.
In the first days of our acquaintance, I posted the track “Varadero” by ST1M on VKontakte. I did this without any particular intention, although deep down I hoped someone might understand my state through this music. I liked the lyrics; they expressed my inner feelings and tiredness from constant struggle, loneliness, and the need to make decisions alone. When I met Anya soon after, she confessed she’d listened to the track, and her first reaction was strange. I thought she misunderstood the meaning of the song and took it as a desperate plea for help. I never found out exactly what she thought, but this uncertainty only made my anxiety worse.
At the time, I carried around Dale Carnegie’s book, which I had already read but decided to reread to better understand his advice and boost my confidence. I felt it could help me in communicating with others and in solving the life challenges I always had to face alone. At some point, I showed this book to Anya, hoping for support or at least understanding, but her reaction was completely unexpected. Anya looked at me strangely, as if she couldn’t understand why I would need books to become more confident.
Later, in a VKontakte chat, she directly voiced her concerns. She said she saw me as lacking in self-sufficiency and independence, and those words deeply hurt me. I was shocked by her assessment, since I had always relied only on myself since losing my parents. I couldn’t understand how she’d come to such a conclusion, but now I realize she probably saw my drive to learn and seek answers in books as a sign of weakness or dependence on others’ opinions. That conversation was a turning point, after which our relationship faded.
Looking back now, I understand that it wasn’t about Carnegie’s book or about my lack of personal principles. At that time, we were just too different: she was an ordinary schoolgirl from a normal family with a clear world, and I was someone who had to become independent very early, without the support of parents or family. For her, confidence was something natural and constant, while I knew it was impossible always to be confident, especially when you have no one to rely on except yourself. I couldn’t explain this to her, and she probably just wasn’t ready to understand that view of life.
However, things at work were going great. Together with Nikolai K., we hired a large team for the internet department—about ten people. I was responsible for the technical part: I managed the entire technical side, including the programmers we also hired. I built plans, delegated tasks, and organized the company’s IT system.
My main responsibility was to oversee the company’s entire database. I managed the system’s billing, effectively running the core that kept the company’s operations going. This was a key responsibility in my professional journey.
One day in our office on Khokhlovsky Lane, an unexpected incident occurred—a pipe burst, and the office started flooding quickly. Water poured from the ceiling, the staff panicked: some tried to save equipment, others ran around looking for a solution, but the situation got worse by the minute. At that moment, I realized I had to act. I took the initiative—quickly moved tables, removed part of the drop ceiling, and, climbing up, reached the pipes. Finding the main valve, I managed to shut off the water and stop the flow.
My actions helped prevent more serious damage and saved the office equipment from flooding. This incident did not go unnoticed—employees began calling me a hero, and the managers appreciated my initiative and ability to handle emergencies. This event further strengthened my position in the company and increased my influence among colleagues.
In the fall, I received a certificate to study on one of our courses and could choose any discipline. I decided to start studying English with a native speaker, as this had become an important task for me. The teacher was Nick, who at first seemed like a true American but later shared he’d lived in America for over 20 years. He was the first to draw my attention to the need to learn Java and the possibility of moving to the USA, which became a turning point in my thoughts about the future.
Around that time, Olga Borisovna introduced me to Nikolai P. Nikolai bought a franchise from our company to run a business under our name, and as part of the deal, he was given a personal database. As it turned out, I was the one responsible for maintaining it. This became part of my duties, and since then, Nikolai started giving me tasks related to maintaining his database. That’s how our communication began and, you could say, a friendship with Nikolai P. was born.
It’s worth mentioning that after this, Nikolai P. introduced me to his friend Volodya, who owned a pizzeria. Volodya needed a database to run his business, and Nikolai connected us. Volodya offered me a project to develop software for his pizzeria, and I gladly took it on.
Besides that, I continued working with Alexander K. on his WP-Shop project. In this way, I began earning not only at my main job but also from these side projects. Olga Borisovna also raised my salary to the maximum level, noting that further increases were only for managers. Alongside this, I earned extra income from the pizzeria and WP-Shop work.
For New Year’s, Vasya suggested an interesting experiment. He came to me with a sly smile and pulled out two pills—a red one and a blue one. Ptaha’s song “Mandarins” was playing, creating a special atmosphere. “Which one will you choose?” he asked, almost jokingly. I didn’t immediately understand what was going on, but he went on: “The red one is stronger, the blue one is weaker. It’s exclusive.” I have to admit, I was a little scared, but Vasya confidently said there was nothing to fear, it would just be pleasant, and that was all.
I chose the blue one. About half an hour later, I started feeling it. Suddenly, I felt an indescribable wave of love for everything around me. It seemed to me that I loved absolutely everything: the world, people, even simple things. I hugged a pillow and was convinced it was the best pillow in the world.
Vasya and I decided to do a trust experiment. Its essence was simple: fall backwards and trust the other to catch you. Vasya fell first—I caught him. Then I trusted him—and Vasya caught me. At that moment, it seemed to me that our friendship with Vasya became even stronger.
That’s how unusually Vasya decided to congratulate me on New Year’s. This experiment made a strong impression on me, and after that, I felt our friendship had become even deeper. I wanted to change my appearance, as if I was joining something bigger—maybe that’s why I decided to shave my head, like Vasya and Zhenya did. It became a kind of symbol that I was trusting them and our friendship more and more.
My friendship with Vasya continued, and at that time he was already dating a girl named Kristina. She worked at Domodedovo Airport, and it was there, on January 24, 2011, that a terrible terrorist attack occurred. I remember discussing it with Vasya—he was worried and anxious. Now I don’t remember if Kristina was on shift or not, but this tragedy became one of the main topics of our conversations.
