One day, in the middle of May, Zhenya Donich became deeply concerned about my situation. He saw how much the recent events had affected me and felt that I needed not just help with housing, but also emotional support. Zhenya, who had already attended a personal growth training, sincerely suggested that I join the next group. He was confident that this training would help me cope with accumulated stress and look at my problems from a new perspective.
Feeling exhausted and in need of change, I decided to give it a try. The training took place at Vorobyovy Gory, not far from Luzhniki, in a stylish loft—the atmosphere itself was conducive to something new and unusual. The training lasted from Friday to Sunday—three days filled with intensive self-work. The timing felt right—after my move to Tushino, I was looking for a way to restore my emotional balance. I agreed, and within a few days, I found myself among the participants of this training.
From the very beginning, the training had a profound impact on me. The program was designed in such a way that from the very first minutes, we were immersed in discussions about personal experiences, fears, and goals. One of the interesting aspects of this training was the “graduate hangout” atmosphere. Our captains were former participants of more advanced courses. Each of us could turn to our captain for advice, help with understanding tasks, or just for support. This created a sense of belonging to something bigger than just a training—it was a whole community that you could return to. Many people even called it a kind of sect, but I felt I had found a cool group where you could always meet people to talk to and share experiences.
We were introduced to the main philosophy of the program: among us, there are victims and engines. Victims are those who tend to look for reasons for their failures in external circumstances, remaining trapped by their own helplessness. Engines, on the contrary, take responsibility for their own lives, without looking back at obstacles, and use every chance for personal growth.
This concept made me rethink the most recent moments of my life and look at them from a new angle. The fatalism of misfortunes that had happened to me, and the inevitability of a bad outcome that seemed to haunt me, suddenly receded. I felt that I had been given a new reminder that I could be the master of my own life. It became clear to me that I had the right to choose my destiny and to decide what actions to take in order to shape the future I wanted. “My fate is determined by no one but myself,” I thought. This understanding freed me from the burden of assumptions and gave me the strength to look for new ways to achieve my goals.
One of the most interesting moments of the training was an assignment in which we had to work in teams. We were divided into two groups and given a task to develop a strategy to score the maximum number of points. At first glance, it seemed that the goal of the game was to beat the other team and get ahead at their expense. Each team could earn points under certain conditions, and it seemed that you could only win by surpassing your opponent. We started building strategies to get more points and win over the other team, but each time we ran into the impossibility of finding the best strategy.
It turned out that the only way to achieve victory was to allow the other team to win. The point of the game was not to defeat someone, but for both teams to find a way to reach mutual benefit. In this assignment, I first encountered the concept of win-win—a strategy in which, in order to win, you must also allow others to win. This lesson made me think about many things in my life—about how often I tried to win alone, not seeing that there was another way.
At first, I felt constrained—it was unusual for me to open up in front of strangers. I was not used to sharing my personal problems publicly. But gradually, listening to others and taking the first steps towards inner work, I began to feel how this training was truly changing my perception of myself. We analyzed what was holding us back, how our inner fears affected our decisions, and how we needed to learn to look at our problems from another perspective.
After all the turmoil, catastrophes, pain, and fear, I found myself among ordinary, simple people who were far removed from what had been happening in my life. Their everyday normality brought me comfort, allowed me to temporarily forget past suffering, and once again feel the joy of life. This training was not just about us, it was about our self-esteem and trust in ourselves. It gave me many positive emotions that I had so sorely lacked after all the upheavals. This was the first moment in a long time when I felt peace and calm.
In addition, this training became an important networking opportunity for me. After it, I had many new acquaintances with whom I could keep in touch and find common interests. As a result, my circle of friends on VKontakte expanded significantly, and I gained new connections. It was a kind of social platform where people from different fields could find themselves, get support, and just hang out in a comfortable environment.
The culmination of the training was a special exercise at the last session. We all stood in a circle, and after a series of exercises aimed at strengthening trust and mutual understanding, our eyes were blindfolded. The atmosphere was filled with anticipation and tension. The task was highly emotional: when we opened our eyes, each of us was supposed to find someone standing in front of us whom we intuitively felt was close. I could not even imagine whom I might see, as it seemed there was no one among the participants whom I could call close.
But when I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the smiling Zhenya D.—the person who had invited me to this training. This moment turned out to be unexpectedly touching, evoking deep emotions. After that, a round of hugs erupted: everyone hugged everyone else, creating a unique atmosphere of unity and joy from the shared experience.
It was a truly magical end to the training, filling me with a sense of deep connection and mutual understanding with those around me. I left the training center a different person, full of hope for the future and new ideas about how I could change my life for the better. I felt that I had gained a tool to take control of my life. I did not know how long-lasting this change would be, but it gave me hope for a better future.
After the first stage of the training ended, the organizers offered to take a second, more in-depth five-day course. This time I had no doubts—I immediately agreed. I felt that this journey was only beginning, and I needed more time to understand and consolidate what had already begun to change inside me. My inner doubts were still there, but the desire to continue working on myself was stronger. I realized that this process required time and effort, and I was ready to go further.
