After completing the advanced course, the training center offered me the opportunity to continue and move on to the next stage — a three-month goal-setting program. For me, this was not just another course or a formal continuation of the training. By that point, I had already begun to feel that this environment itself was giving me something I had been deeply missing in ordinary life: a team, structure, movement, support, assignments, specific goals, and the feeling that I was among people who also wanted to change something in their lives.
After everything that had been happening to me during that period, this was especially important. The story with Nadya, the breakup, the feeling that she had formed a wrong opinion of me, the inner tension, the attempts to prove something, the sense that I had fallen out of normal human space — all of this created a heavy background inside me. The training, on the contrary, brought me back into a space of action. There, I did not have to endlessly explain why everything had happened the way it had. There, I had to set a goal, take responsibility, make a step, come back with a result, and then keep moving forward.
I liked being among these people. I liked the feeling of being part of a team. I liked that there were positive, active, involved people around me — people who did not just sit still, but completed assignments, went beyond their usual limits, supported one another, and passed through different challenges together. After the advanced course, I did not feel that this story was over. Quite the opposite — it felt as if I had only just entered a new flow, and I wanted to remain inside it.
That is why I agreed to join the three-month course. It meant continuing the trainings, continuing to be among the team, continuing to complete assignments given by the system, and continuing to move along a defined route. If the previous courses had been short and intense, now everything was supposed to stretch over several months. It was no longer enough to complete one powerful assignment. I had to integrate my goals into everyday life and return to them every day through discipline, reporting, and action.
The first weekend of the three-month program began on July 13, 2012. It lasted three days and became the entrance into a new phase of the training. Already at this stage, I faced the first important step: to define three key goals that I would focus on over the coming months.
At that same time, we chose the name of our team — LP-7 “Constellation of Love.” The prefix LP-7 meant “Leadership Program” — the seventh stream or seventh group of this program at the training center. And the name itself, “Constellation of Love,” reflected well the atmosphere they were trying to immerse us in: not just an individual movement toward our own goals, but a sense of a shared team, where each person was a separate star, yet together we formed something greater.
My first goal was pragmatic: I decided to sell my car, since this matched my financial and life plans at the time. The second goal was personal: I wanted to repair my relationship with Nadya. I could not let go of the feeling that she had formed a wrong opinion of me, and this weighed on me constantly. I felt the need to correct the situation and restore the mutual understanding that had been lost.
The third goal, although I don’t remember it exactly, could be described as a pursuit of personal growth and self-improvement. It was about learning and the desire to become the best version of myself. These three directions—financial, personal, and educational—formed the vector of my movement at that time.
An interesting part of the program was the introduction of a so-called “buddy”—a partner with whom we were supposed to complete the course together. This was someone who would help and support me during difficult moments. The training consisted of three weekends: at the start, the midpoint, and the end of the course. However, already during the first weekend, my buddy broke his leg and ended up in the hospital, where he spent almost the entire remainder of the course.
After the first weekend, my life began to acquire a certain rhythm. We had a special mantra that we memorized, and every morning at a specific time, we were required to call our captain. We would recite the mantra and report on the actions we had taken toward our goals, as well as what we planned to do that day to achieve them. Missing a call was not allowed—any deviation from the set schedule broke the discipline of the program. Calling at the wrong time was also forbidden. This routine helped structure the day and served as a constant reminder to focus on our goals.
One of the requirements of the training was to completely abstain from alcohol and cigarettes for its duration. This demanded a certain level of self-discipline, but I accepted this condition and strictly adhered to it. This abstinence became an important part not only of physical cleansing but also of inner focus on achieving my goals.
The training was based on a philosophy that everyone receives exactly what they need, and the training itself is a miniature version of life. If something happened to my buddy, it was viewed as part of his path, and everything had to continue regardless of the circumstances. The key was that no one dropped out of the game. My buddy somehow continued to participate in the training from the hospital and remained my partner throughout. I regularly visited him at City Clinical Hospital No. 1 named after N.I. Pirogov, which added a special depth and uniqueness to our partnership.
One of the highlights of the training was the ropes course. It was not just a physical challenge, but a deep experience aimed at building trust within the team. One of the exercises involved balancing on a rope and relying completely on your partner to avoid falling. Every movement required coordination and trust—you couldn’t complete the course without each other’s support.
Another key moment was falling backwards from a height onto the team, who stood below with outstretched arms, ready to catch you. In that moment, you had to let go of your fears and completely trust the people waiting below. These exercises became powerful symbols of how important it is to trust your team and be ready to rely on others in difficult moments.
The ropes course turned out to be not just a test of endurance or physical fitness—it was a real lesson in team building. It helped us realize that only through support and trust in each other could we overcome any obstacle. This exercise created a special bond within the team that hadn’t existed before.
One of the most memorable moments happened when I tried to achieve my second goal—restoring my relationship with Nadya. I went to her home to try to discuss everything. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. However, I was sure Nadya was at home and had simply decided not to open the door. This left me with a strange feeling, as if something had gone wrong on a deeper level.
After that event, my mood sharply worsened. I ended up near Kurskaya station closer to the evening and, breaking the rules of the training, decided to have a beer just to distract myself. This decision marked the beginning of a series of strange and unpleasant events. That day, I had a backpack full of things: a laptop, iPod, several mobile phones, my brother’s passport, and my own passport. I barely remember why I had all these things with me. At Kurskaya, I randomly bumped into a couple of guys and started drinking with them. Everything seemed fine, but at some point they slipped something into my drink, and I lost consciousness.
I woke up to find that they were pulling off my pants and running away. I was in shock—I had been robbed and left with nothing, not even clothes. I caught a taxi and asked the driver to take me home, promising to pay once I arrived. This event was a real blow, throwing me completely off balance. I started linking this incident to my visit to Nadya, as if her energy had somehow affected me. This incident showed me that breaking the rules of the program, especially the ban on alcohol, never goes unnoticed. After that, I firmly decided never to break the program’s conditions again and not to go to Nadya directly. This incident made it clear to me how important it is to strictly follow the rules. At the same time, the need to prove the truth became extremely important to me. It was obvious that if Nadya knew the truth, she wouldn’t treat me with such hostility. This realization pushed me to look for ways to get the truth across to her.
On top of everything else, I had to restore the stolen documents. I went to the passport office to restore my own passport, and I also helped my brother restore his. Later we found out that a loan had been taken out in my brother’s name at a microfinance organization. For several years, he received letters demanding repayment of the debt, and I kept denying that we had ever taken out such a loan, explaining that the passport had been stolen. Eventually, a couple of years later, I took my brother to the organization, where we managed to prove that he could not have taken out the loan. The debt was canceled, and this unpleasant story was finally over.
After being robbed and all the passport drama, I had the feeling that life itself was set against me. I couldn’t understand where the next blow would come from. Every new event seemed to foreshadow something even worse. I started to fear surprises, as anything could go wrong at any moment. What if something happened again, and I once more found myself defenseless in the face of another disaster?
It was during this period that Olga Borisovna, my former supervisor, with whom I had worked before meeting Nadya, got in touch with me. I told her everything that had happened to me over the past year: about the robbery, the passport situation, the harassment in my neighborhood, and how people had tried to drag me into crime and get me hooked on drugs. Life seemed like complete chaos, surrounded by fears and uncertainty. I didn’t know where to find support or how to get out of this situation. Olga Borisovna listened to me attentively and showed great compassion. I felt that she truly understood what I was going through.
Olga Borisovna had always treated me very loyally when I worked under her. She raised my salary several times, and I had a privileged position in the company. So, when she suggested that I meet with a psychic, I took it as a gesture of goodwill and agreed, although I had never really believed in such things myself.
At the meeting with the psychic, I started telling my story. I focused on how important it was for me to meet Nadya and explain the truth to her. At first, the psychic said, “Yes, I see strong energy, you will meet her.” But after a while, she added, “You know, I was probably mistaken. This energy is connected to your overwhelming desire to meet her. But I see a huge block in the energy fields. Nadya has made her conclusions, very sad ones, and unfortunately, she has closed all channels for you to explain anything. She has made her decision and will not listen to you. Her opinion is formed, and she does not intend to change it.”
I tried to argue: “But that’s the wrong opinion! She is absolutely mistaken about me. What she decided about me does not match the truth.” To which the psychic replied, “Right now, you have no way to explain the truth or prove anything to her. Your mental state will not allow you to do it.”
I asked, “So what should I do?” She replied, “Work. All you can do right now is work.”
Of course, I also told the psychic about the situation with Vasya and Zhenya. We discussed how Vasya tried to turn me in to the police and how I now had to live in a rented apartment. The psychic said that the situation had been catastrophic, but in the last moment, some higher powers intervened and saved me. She confirmed that Vasya and Zhenya posed a real danger, calling them local gangsters. But she added that after everything that had happened, they would no longer try to attack me—they realized they wouldn’t get another chance. They saw that I had shown my strength.
After this meeting, I was left with a deep sadness. I realized that I had no way to prove the truth to Nadya. She already believed the version she had created for herself. This tormented me because I knew that the truth she accepted did not reflect reality or who I had been before we met.
It began to torment me that my attempts to reach out to her would only be seen as confirmation of her opinion of me—that I was a hopeless drug addict who was stalking her. Any attempt to contact her would only reinforce her mistaken view.
I ended up in a trap that I haven’t been able to escape from to this day. That is why I decided to write a book, to tell the story as it really happened.
In my mind, a strong contrast formed, which started to irritate me. On one hand, there was Olga Borisovna, who treated me with great respect. She herself was a respected woman, a senior executive, and I knew that she had always done her work honestly. On the other hand, Nikolay P. provided me with all sorts of support: letting me run courses, offering side jobs, and supporting me morally in every way. I worked at the magazine “Around the World” among respected people and top media managers whom I sometimes met. I was also participating in an amazing training program, surrounded by people from all kinds of professions and social statuses. This was my real world at that moment.
But there was another world—the one seen and believed in by Nadya and her circle, and it had nothing to do with reality. They were so convinced of this world that they didn’t want to know another truth. They simply lived with this false faith in some invented image of me. Of course, this dichotomy—the gap between reality and what people thought about me—became so strong that it no longer allowed me to be at peace.
However, in some sense, visiting the psychic made me calmer. I had already begun to suspect that Vasya and Zhenya probably didn’t pose much of a threat anymore, because I hadn’t been home or in contact with them for a long time. Besides, even if there were some consequences connected to them, my body had long since cleansed itself. By this point, I hadn’t used anything for several months. Therefore, I felt more confident and decided that I wanted to return home.
During the same period that I was participating in the goal-setting program, I discovered the works of Itzhak Pintosevich, whose ideas had a significant impact on me. His books, such as “The Ten Commandments of Success,” became my guides. Pintosevich skillfully explained complex concepts in simple language, helping me better understand my goals and how to achieve them.
I actively read his self-improvement books, drawing not only inspiration but also practical advice, which I immediately put into practice. His philosophy became an important part of my approach to life, and one of his books became my go-to resource—a source of support and guidance during difficult times.
Through the process of self-development, I truly realized the power of gratitude for the first time. Previously, it had seemed like something abstract, but once I started practicing it, I noticed how my relationships and perception of events began to change. Gratitude became a powerful tool for me, helping me cope with difficulties and see opportunities where I once only saw obstacles.
Despite having to pay off a car loan and rent for new housing, I still managed to cope with expenses. I always had enough money for everything I needed, and I decided that I wanted even more freedom to move around Moscow. I already had a driver’s license, but you don’t need one for a scooter, and riding one around the city seemed like the perfect solution. One day, I bought myself a scooter and started using it to get around the city. It turned out to be a very convenient and economical way to travel, especially given the city’s notorious traffic jams.
One day from the three-month program especially stuck in my memory. It was pure luxury! We were taken around Moscow in a limousine, which by itself already created an incredible atmosphere. When we arrived at our destination, it turned out that we had been brought to a recording studio. There, as a group, we recorded a track together. It was an unusual and very engaging experience. The opportunity to try myself as a singer, even for a short time, left vivid impressions.
One of the goals of the three-month program was to sell my car. However, things did not go as well as I had hoped. One day I stopped by to see Nikolay K., who reacted rather strangely to my actions and started putting pressure on me. He posted an ad to sell my car, but he listed it for much less than I had bought it for. I didn’t quite understand what was going on, and at some point I decided that maybe he was right. In the end, the car was sold, but it wasn’t enough to fully pay off the loan. There remained a debt to the bank of about two hundred thousand rubles.
I called Sonya and her boyfriend, upsetting them a little by saying, “Guys, you need to vacate my apartment, I’ll be coming back soon.” They agreed, just asked for a specific date. We settled on one, and around mid-July I was living at home again.
